September 17, 2012
LIVING SENSUALLY…
How attuned are you to your sensory turn-ons?
TOUCH
I love the feel of lounging in the warm summer sun as it heats my bare skin till hot to the touch, then diving into the embrace of cooling water. After a relaxing swim I like to allow my body to dry off in the warmth of the sun, before heading into an air conditioned bedroom, stripping down to nothing, then sliding into cold, crisp white sheets, for a siesta.
Sensual Touch Suggestions…
One at a time run ice cubes across your lovers nipples till taunt, then cover them with warmth of your mouth, alternating.SMELL
The sense of smell is strongly tied to mental stimulation, relaxation, and sexual arousal.
MEN
Pumpkin – was the most powerful turn-on for men, especially when mixed with lavender.
Doughnuts – (especially when combined with pumpkin pie or lavender.)
Oranges
Buttered Popcorn
Cheese Pizza
Strawberries
Cinnamon Buns
Black Licorice
Lily of the Valley
WOMEN
Musk– Resembles male pheromones. (A great scent for men to wear for women. Look for a cologne that lists musk as the #1 ingredient. )
Cucumbers – the crisp, fresh, bittersweet smell of cucumbers has been scientifically proven to trigger increased blood flow to a woman’s clitoris. (Women also like the scent of cucumbers mixed with candy.)
Other scintillating scents for both sexes…
Peppermint – mentally invigorating, and has been said to open people to trying new things.
Ylang Ylang – known for its erotic scent is also said to encourage verbal communication.
Jasmine – opens the other senses to new experiences.
Patchouli – cited by some experts to awaken sexual energy.
TASTE
There is no lover like a sensual lover…
While some women may note the size of a mans hands/feet as if it were a valid measure of his endowment, mistakenly associating size with skill, I pay attention to the way he eats. Sensual men and women eat slowly, they savor their food, rather than inhaling it. This is an insightful indicator as to whether they are apt to savor you intimately, scarf you. Eating is a very sensual experience. Be open to trying an array of flavors, in various combinations. As you eat s-l-o-w-l-y, notice the feel and texture of the food in your mouth. Move it around slowly on your tongue and experience how the taste varies depending on its placement on your tongue.
What tastes and textures feel the most sensual in your mouth?
Explore.
SIGHT
you are most attracted to, and the way those colors make you feel. In your surroundings select colors that create an atmosphere that evokes your desired mood in that room. For instance the mood you want to set in your bedroom, will be different than the mood you want to set in your living room. As well select and wear colors that align with your mood.
pleasure, and hold happy associations such as Art, photos, mementos, flowers, etc. around your home. Adorn your body with jewelry, or tattoos that you find beautiful, and/or meaningful. Wear styles, be it hair or clothing that resonate and reflect your essence, and positively affects your mood.
AURAL
in the brain. Tastes in music vary widely. To live sensually is to tune into the music that matches your mood.What music arouses you? Are there songs you like to be intimate to? What music calms and relaxes you? What kind of music revs you up? What music helps you to focus? Living sensually is to have a clear awareness of the answers to these questions.THE BRAIN
Lets take a moment to pay homage to your brain…
Think of your brain as the sensorial command center. Not only does it work in conjunction with your five senses to create pleasurable responses to positive sensory experiences, it also works as a data bank storing information on stimuli that lead to pleasurable sensations, thus creating a trigger for sensual associations. Say you’ve had an adventurous erotic tryst on a train with a mate, and now every time you ride Amtrak or watch the subway love scene in Risky Business you find yourself aroused. Or perhaps you were close to your Grandma who always baked you an apple pie when you visited. Now whenever you smell apple pies baking you associate the scent positively, feeling warm and calm washes over you.You can thank your brain for such pleasant, powerful associations.
September 5, 2012
Women: Promiscuity in our Current Culture
So much of what feminists before us fought for in terms of equal human rights and empowerment of female sexuality seems to have gotten lost in translation along the way. For many women having the same equal human rights as men has been confused with emulating detrimental male behaviors, such as heavy drinking, physical fighting, and sexual promiscuity. While the notion of randomly bedding guys may seem like the equalizer for a woman to own her sexuality, such behaviors often have negative emotional repercussions, which women seldom talk about. When it comes to having sex we all know about the risk of pregnancy we take, and the chance of exposure to an STD, which women are more susceptible to contract, but no one ever talks to women about the emotional risks. Sexually, women are wired to be serial monogamists. I remember once in a lecture by the renowned biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher her warning women about the high risks and perils of casual sex, not from a moral stance, but an emotional and physiological one. It was the first time I had ever heard someone speak about this topic without tying their reasoning to socially imposed judgements, or feminist entitlement, but rather simply to unbiased biological facts.
In their book “Premarital Sex in America” sociologists, Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker, examined the sexual behavior of young adults.Their research found a significant correlation between sexual restraint and emotional well-being, between monogamy and happiness, and between promiscuity and depression.They discovered that this correlation is much stronger for women than for men. Emotional well-being seems to be tightly bound to sexual stability in women.This may in part explain why overall female happiness has spiraled downward since the sexual revolution.
The happiest women in Regnerus and Uecker study, were those with a current sexual partner and only one or two partners in their lifetime. Virgins they noted were almost as happy, though not quite. A young woman’s likelihood of depression rose steadily as her number of partners increased and the stability of her sex life diminished.It is no surprise that a feature of Borderline Personality Disorder in women is promiscuity, which lends to instability and subsequent depression.
As women we need to ask ourselves where our worth resides? What does sexual empowerment and ownership of our sexuality look like? And whether promiscuity hinders or helps our personal progression?
The bottom line is, yes, it is your body, and it is your choice to do with it, and share it with whomever you want. Like Dr. Fisher, I am cautioning you to consider all of the risks, and do so wisely.
August 13, 2012
The Boundaries of Compromise…
July 9, 2012
ADDICTED TO LOVE
Robert Palmer sang “you know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to love,” as it turns out according to a recently published study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine wherein 20 studies were examined to determine the effects of sex and love on the body, he was right. The insula and the striatum are areas in the brain responsible for tracking the way in which human sexual desire evolves into feelings of love. While lust triggers the parts of the brain responsible for the pleasurable feelings we experience through sex, love activates the parts of the brain that controls habitual behavior over time.”The change from desire to love is the bonding mechanism in relationships,”says lead author of the study Concordia Psychology Professor Jim Pfaus.He continued, “we assign different language to love and sexual desire and addiction, but really, they’re all being processed in a similar place. When we see this, the idea of love at first sight probably isn’t true. People are feeling desire.”
Our brains process love the same as it does habits over time. After lust may come love. Feelings of love transfer to the region of the brain that controls habits and reward patterns.This is the exact same pattern that occurs when people become addicted to drugs.
“Habits usually get a bad reputation, but it’s an important thing that the brain imposes. The change from desire to love is the bonding mechanism in relationships. So, really, drug addiction is an embellished expression of something perfectly normal,” said Pfaus. Bonding mechanisms influence monogamy, create connectedness, and activate us to defend our mate and offspring’s interests.The downside to this mechanism of lust potentially turning into love is that a good relationship requires more than desire and genetic compatibility, which means partners who are otherwise ill suited may wind up having their lust develop into love via habituation.
These findings explain in part why is often difficult to end a relationship that is unhealthy or that we’ve out grown. Given that the regions of the brain triggered when in love are the same as those responsible for addiction it makes sense that when relationships end some people experience physiological pain as withdrawal, their thinking becomes obsessively focused on their former mate, and they may loose interest in normal pleasures and even basic needs. Luckily for most people with time this diffuses and they are able to move on.
Author: Darlene Turner
http://www.fromdatetomate.com/trendy/index.html
Love@FromDateToMate.com
March 21, 2011
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
#1 Tissue & Organ Health
Heavy breathing and elevated heart rate during sexual arousal and orgasm help keep tissues and organs healthier by circulating oxygen.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
#2 Excellent Caloric Burn
Energy expended reaching orgasm burns off more calories per minute than playing tennis.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
#3 Reduces Cancer & Prostatitis in Men
The latest research from of The Cancer Council Victoria, in Melbourne Australia found that the more men ejaculate between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to develop prostate cancer. Additional research revealed that regular male orgasm can also help prevent a condition called nonspecific prostatitis, which causes painful urination.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
#4 Emotional Wellness
The Kinsey report found that sex reduces stress, and that people who have fulfilling sex lives are less anxious, less violent and less hostile.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
#5 Longevity
A Duke University found that the frequency of sexual intercourse for men was associated with lower death rates, and that the enjoyment of sexual intercourse by women was associated with a longer life span.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
#6 Heart Health in Women
A study published in Psychosomatic Medicine cited a link between women’s sexual satisfaction and ability to reach orgasm, and the incidence of heart attack. 65% of the women who had heart attacks reported sexual dissatisfaction prior to their occurrence, whereas only 24% of women in the control group reported sexual dissatisfaction, indicating that a failure to reach orgasm may have a negative impact on the health of a woman’s heart.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
#7 Immunity & Enjoyment
Dr. Ted Mcllvenna, from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality conducted a study which looked at the sex lives of 90,000 American adults and found that sexually active people take fewer sick leaves and enjoy life more.
According to gynecologist Dr. Dudley Chapman, orgasms boost infection-fighting cells up to 20%. Psychologists at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that students who had regular sexual activity had a third higher levels of immunoglobulin A, an antibody which boosts the immune system and can help fight colds and flu.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
# 8 Migraines
YES, tonight dear! I have a headache! A study conducted at the South Illinois School of Medicine found that having an orgasm can cure migraines. Many participants in this study reported either considerable or complete relief after an orgasm.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
# 9 Semen Reduces Depression in Women.
Research indicates that semen, which contains mood altering hormones can actually reduce depression in women through its absorption in the vagina. This finding was evidenced in a study conducted by Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at the State University of New York.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
#10 The Fountain of Youth
According to research done by David Weeks, a clinical neuropsychologist at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, regular orgasms make you look younger. Weeks found that making love three times a week while in a content relationship can make you look up to 10 years younger!
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
#11 Fertility
Vaginal contractions during female orgasm draws up semen promoting fertility.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
#12 Testosterone and Estrogen
Regular sexual activity and orgasm increases levels of testosterone and estrogen, which helps strengthen bones and muscles in men, keeps vaginal tissue suppler in women, as well as protects against osteoporosis, while providing protection against heart disease for genders.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
#13 Increases Pain Threshold
As previously reported in my segments on the the health benefits of orgasm, studies have shown that an orgasm can significantly reduce if not obliterate a migraine headaches. Now according to research conducted by Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk at Rutgers University it has been discovered that women who have regular orgasms benefit from an increased threshold of pain, helping with conditions ranging from whiplash to arthritis.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
# 14 Regular Menstrual Cycles
Research done by Dr Winnifred Cutler, a specialist in behavioural endocrinology, indicates that women who have intercourse at least once a week are more likely to have normal menstrual cycles than women who are celibate or who have infrequent sex.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
# 15 For Women: More Bone Density, Lower Bad Cholesterol, Higher Good Cholesterol, Improved Brain Function.
Dr. Cutler also reports that women who enjoy regular weekly sex have significantly higher levels of oestrogen in their blood than women experiencing either infrequent sex or no sex at all. The benefits of oestrogen include a healthy cardiovascular system, lower bad cholesterol, higher good cholestrol, more bone density, and supple skin. There is also growing evidence that oestrogen is beneficial to brain functioning.
The Health Benefits of Orgasm
# 16 Bolstered DHEA
Another important hormone that seems to be affected by sexual activity is DHEA. Right before orgasm, the level of the hormone DHEA in the body spikes to several times higher than normal. DHEA is believed to improve brain function, balance the immune system, help maintain and repair tissue, promote healthy skin, and possibly improve cardiovascular health.
Imagine the reduction in heart disease, urological disorders, cancers, depression, stress, and increase in longevity there would be if we truly valued the vast benefits of orgasm as nourishment for the heart, mind, and soul. If we began each day with an exquisite orgasm the world would be a far happier, healthier more harmonious place.
October 21, 2010
ISO LOVE DO’S & DON’TS
Darlene Turner
Relationship & Communication Expert
(c) 2010
October 15, 2010
Insight to Attraction in Hindsight….
Darlene Turner
Relationship & Communication Expert
(c) 2010
Trazodone, Blood Thinners and Penile Amputation: What You Need To Know
Darlene Turner
Relationship & Communication Expert
(c) 2010
October 8, 2010
The REAL Lowdown on Alcohol and Your Libido…
Breeders Remorse…
When you drink the reward areas of the brain known as the nucleus accumbens and ventral striatum, responsible for mediating sexual attraction, become superstimulated by dopamine. This release of dopamine makes you feel really good. Unfortunately it also makes those who otherwise would never strike you as such, appear to look really good. The compromising of cognitive abilities in this specific region of the brain are responsible for why people end up intimately engaged with those they would not normally even look at, let alone touch when stone cold sober. A word to the wise, be cautious of the company you keep when drinking or you may well awake in the morning with breeders remorse.
Alcohols Effect on Testosterone…
Even moderate alcohol consumption spikes testosterone levels in women. This spike may cause some women to become more easily aroused, and act in a more sexually aggressive, promiscuous manner. Unfortunately there are unscrupulous men, who are only too happy to seize the opportunity to pounce on you like prey when in this compromised state of mind. Yet another reason women need to be aware of exercising caution when they drink. A reminder to men, it is never wise to have casual sex with an intoxicated woman. Even if she seems willing, you still run the risk of putting yourself in a dangerously ambiguous date rape situation.
For men heavy use of alcohol creates potential risks of another kind.When men imbibe too much alcohol it actually causes their testosterone levels to plummet, suppressing production of testosterone in the testes. So why then you might wonder, is it that men still feel arousal and remain desirous of sex when drunk? This is thanks to a surge in a secondary luteinizing hormone, released as a means to stimulate testosterone production when levels become low. As many a highly inebriated man has discovered, no matter how deep his desire it cannot fuel the physiological functioning required to achieve and maintain an erection when chemically cock blocked by alcohol.The repercussions of impotence can have a devastating effect on a mans ego, and in some instances his sexual partners as well. Fortunately for most this is a temporary impairment, and not reflective of a mans erectile abilities when sober.
However, chronic heavy drinking can cause some very unattractive consequences to the sexual appeal of a man, beyond frequent impotence. Chronic heavy drinking can make a mans testicles actually shrivel up. It can also cause his hips to widen, pronounced breasts to develop, and make his chin grow smooth and plump up. These feminizing effects are the consequences of low testosterone levels, caused by prolonged heavy use of alcohol. Sadly for some men this aesthetic damage is permanent.
Darlene Turner
Relationship & Communication Expert
(c) 2010
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